You Must Kiss (to come out of the closet)
by Lady StarFlower
Summary: Mineta somehow locks six people in a closet with a device that will only deactivate if two people kiss. Bakugou is screaming. Kirishima is trying to keep explosions at a minimum. Midoriya is wheezing. Uraraka is floating. Yaoyorozu is horrified at the conditions. Todoroki just wants out. No ships, but some implied ones. T for Bakugou's colorful language.


The closet is an unassuming room stuffed with storage supplies, tucked away in some corner of the school where usually only the janitorial robots would access. It's pretty much an unpopular place.

Until today.

"IF YOUR LITTLE GRAPE ASS WON'T LET US OUT OF HERE IN TWO SECONDS, I WILL BLOW YOU UP SO HARD YOU WILL WISH YOUR MOTHER NEVER MET YOUR FUCKING FATHER!"

Outside the door, Mineta cowers, but he does so with an air of triumph. "You're not coming out until the conditions are met!"

"What kind of gross individual would ever fulfill such horrible conditions?" An indignant voice protests, just barely audible under Bakugou's screaming.

"I'm so sorry about this, Yaoyorozu-san!" Midoriya wails. "I should've acted faster to prevent this!"

"Don't say that, Deku!" Uraraka's voice soothes. "Mineta is just a little mastermind of a pervert."

"But he's really got us in a tangle here." Kirishima observes with embarrassment. "Hey man, can you give us some light?"

"…Sure." There's a beat of silence, and then Bakugou starts screaming. "THAT'S MY HAIR, ICY HOT!"

Todoroki's apology is drowned with more screaming, mostly Midoriya and Uraraka, because judging from the popping noises emanating from the closet, King Explosion Murder is about to do exactly that.

Yaoyorozu's voice is commanding, but faltering. "Bakugou-kun, if you would so kindly calm down, your Quirk could activate if you're agitated-"

"I WOULD GLADLY BLOW YOU FUCKERS UP RATHER THAN KISS YOU, FOR SHIT'S SAKE!"

"But those are the conditions!" Mineta howls. "The lock on the door is heat sensitive! Kiss someone and the door would open, it's as simple as that!"

There's the sound of sizzling and something very, very vicious happening within the closet, and as the tell-tale _kashing_ of Kirishima's Quirk being activated rings out, Midoriya calls to the others outside.

"Is there any way- _Kacchan can you please stop screaming_ -that lock can be picked?"

On the other side of the door, Iida shakes his head as he stares down at a complicated array of flashing lights and wires. "I'm sorry, my friend, but this thing is almost indecipherable! We don't want to try anything in case the lock is set permanently!"

"I bribed Hatsume." Mineta cackles, only to have Sero slap a strip of tape on his face with righteous indignation. "You idiot! They're suffering in there!"

"Just kiss Yaoyorozu!" Mineta shrieks before the rest of the class tackles him. "I've got a camera in there!"

"YOU LITTLE GRAPE FUCKER I'M GOING TO-"

"Whoa, whoa, man! Take it easy, you almost set Todoroki's hair on fire!"

Despite the eminent danger, Todoroki sounds disturbingly unperturbed. "…Can't we just do what he says and be done with it?"

Silence.

A shriek, this time from Midoriya. "WHAAAAAAT?"

Flustered noises from Yaoyorozu. "Todoroki-san, you can't be serious!"

Uraraka lets out a righteous shriek of indignation. "I'm not giving away my first kiss in here!"

"YOU CAN SHARE-" Mineta is cut off with a ferocious smack by Tsuyu.

"HEY, DEKU-" Bakugou yells, "KISS THAT STUPID ROUND FACE YOU PINE OVER SO MUCH AND GET IT OVER WITH."

"Whaaaaa?" Midoriya's wheeze is accompanied by Uraraka's sudden choking, with Kirishima exclaiming. "Wow, she's floating!"

"I hate to agree, but you two seem to have the most romantic dynamic out of all of us here." Yaoyorozu says apologetically.

Midoriya is still wheezing asthmatically as Uraraka lands with a determined thump. "Well, what about you and Todoroki, huh? You guys aren't exactly friends, either!"

Yaoyorozu reels back. "Eeeeh?!"

"What do ya say, dude?" Kirishima asks in desperation. "Please, I'm getting claustrophobic in here! Bakugou's not going to hang on to his sanity much longer!"

"DAMN RIGHT!"

Todoroki's reply is the definition of long-suffering. "…Alright, if it would get us out of here."

There's a bit of shuffling. Something slides against the door as a muffled exclamation is cut off. Prolonged silence.

The lock clicks, and the door flies open.

Uraraka gasps.

Bakugou's eyes are wide as Todoroki abruptly pulls away. Both of them have blanched to the color of pasty rice porridge. The others have frozen in place.

"Did you just…" Bakugou stutters, his hand flying to his lips, "…put your tongue in my MOUTH?!"

Todoroki looks dazedly at Bakugou's increasingly livid face, and then at Yaoyorozu, who is frozen with her hands outstretched. She hastily tucks them behind her back. "I think I missed." Todoroki replies slowly.

"No shit." Kirishima breathes.

Mineta pipes up with a wail. "No fair! That's not at all hot!"

The ground shakes.

Mineta's end is a violent one.


End file.
